They get me every time. The long looks, the silly moments interspersed. The real tenderness and affection. I can’t help but cry.
It’s hard to explain how I can not miss X and yet long for those moments. I remember being looked at that way, touched with tenderness, laughing together. It was really wonderful being loved.
The strange thing is, I absolutely do not want to date right now. I can’t even imagine being with another person. Even as I don’t miss him, I don’t want someone else. I did, for a moment, but it was all wrong. I have so much work to do on myself before I can open up and even begin to trust someone else again. I want to do that, theoretically. But not now. I don’t have enough of me to give.
So in the meantime. I’ll keep working on me. And I’ll avoid the tender love scenes.