I reread my last two posts and, clearly, I was feeling a bit angry when I wrote them. Sorry for all the f-bombs! (Although, I have to say, it’s a very satisfying word to say!)
The truth is, yes, I still get angry, or hurt. I still feel the weight of what happened. But these days those feelings are really intermittent. They don’t come that frequently, and they don’t last very long. I actually wrote both of those posts on the same night, as writing was helping me move through the tough feelings.
And that’s the thing about healing. It really does get better. I don’t hurt as much. I’m content a lot of the time. This weekend, I ended up spending the whole day yesterday reading Evvie Drake Starts Over. I read the whole thing in a day – started in the morning and finished at bed time. And it was glorious! Laugh out loud funny book, characters I cared about, a love story I very much related to. Then today, I got some, but not all, of the things done on my list. I cleaned a bit, did some laundry, did some school work, and went for a walk.
It’s nothing exciting or profound. It’s the mundane in-between of the hard parts, and really, they aren’t that interesting to write about. I’m healing! It’s pretty cool.