I found out this week that a dear friend of mine returned from a month away from home (remote work) to sit down with her partner and be told he was leaving her.
I am sick to my stomach over it. He didn’t share concerns or problems before, and he didn’t make an effort to repair any problems with her.
Who are these men? These insecure, cowardly men. These selfish, weak men. Who are these fucking men who leave their partners at Christmas? I am not a mother, but if I had a son, my biggest priority would be to raise a boy who understood and could talk about his feelings, who would consider others’ feelings in his decision making process, and who would have the honest conversations and do the hard work instead of running away when things get hard, as they inevitably will.
I spent the day sick to my stomach for my friend. I remembered, viscerally, the feeling of panic I felt when I was at the same moment. I had forgotten that feeling. It’s strange how we self protect after trauma. I remember that I was devastated, but the physical feeling alluded me until I heard the news yesterday. That feeling kept me up last night, not reliving my pain, but feeling heartbroken for my friend, that she has to go through this too.
And so I send this out to her as a message of hope.
You can do this. You have a team of people who will rally around you and hold you up. You are loved. You are amazing. You’ll come out on the other side of this. I’ve got you, the same way you had me.
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