I survived Thanksgiving. All things considered, it wasn’t all that bad. I did feel a tad blue, off and on throughout the day. I thought about X more than has been normal as of late. I wondered what he was doing with his day (something I really don’t do), and thought painfully that he probably wasn’t wondering about me. There was even a weird part of me that hoped I’d have an email from him. I wouldn’t have responded if I did. I think there is still a part of me that wants to know that he valued me. It’s so weird to have this person who I gave so much of myself to not even care. Most of the time I’ve accepted it, but the holidays bring those wounds to the surface.
I did make spinach balls. We used to make them every year for Thanksgiving, and they were always a hit at our Thanksgiving gatherings in Alaska. My grandmother always made them and I brought the tradition with me and then back. They were a hit, and people enjoying the food I make always makes me feel good.
There was a sweet toddler at our Thanksgiving gathering that brought lots of joy and laughter. My family was together and it’s something I missed when I lived in Alaska. Being with family was good.
All in all, it was okay. I survived and even had some good moments. I continue to move forward.