I’m beginning to realize that my default has become to ask others to do things for me. I remember so vividly, back when I was 20 something and living alone in NYC, that I could do everything for myself. It was such a point of pride. But when X and I started dating, I discovered how wonderful it was to be taken care of. I loved being cared for when I got sick, and having someone else to help with the chores. I had someone to help with technical computer-like stuff. I didn’t have to figure everything else out for myself.
Now that I’m single again and living alone, I’m noticing this desire to ask people to do things for me. And I’m realizing that, though the pull to ask for help is strong, I’m uncomfortable with it, especially when I know deep down that I can probably figure it out on my own.
So today I tackled the project of hanging up the new curtain rod for my living room windows. I ordered them two weeks ago and they’ve just been sitting, in the box, in my living room, apparently waiting for my father to come install them. I never asked him though. I think I knew it was something I just needed to do for myself.
Tonight I finally did it. I measured to place the rod brackets equidistant. I drilled holes. I put in screws and slipped over the brackets. Then I made sure the rod was even and I tightened the fixture to fit.
It was as simple as that and I’m feeling really proud of myself! The curtains need to be steamed, and I’ll get to that this week. But I did it, and it looks good. Just another notch in the category of taking care of myself.