I always hated memes. I thought they were stupid. Then my husband abandoned me with no warning and suddenly every meme I saw was profound and speaking directly to me. I began saving them in a folder titled “Divorce/Recovery.” I’d even go back into this folder from time to time and reread them for inspiration. As you can see, this divorce has really changed me 😉
Lately, this one meme has really stood out to me. It actually says a version of the same thing many of the others have said. But right now, in this moment, when my future stretches before me, unchartered, it feels right. I’ve actually referred back to it quite a bit.
Despite the errors in punctuation (memes always seem to have punctuation or spelling errors), this quote has really helped me when I’m struggling to choose myself. It’s so easy to let myself escape; escaping into television, binge watching old Bones seasons, scrolling endlessly through social media on my phone. But that’s not the life I want to live. I want to be healthy. I want to exercise and eat well. I want to make art and write. I want to canoe. I want a balance between my work and my social life. I want an actual social life!
So lately, whenever I feel the pull of escapism, I pull up this meme. And then I choose the life I want. I choose the healthy breakfast. I choose to sit down and write my book. I choose to go canoeing. I choose, over and over, and very slowly, still with lots of pain and sadness, but also with that weird strength I’ve developed, I am choosing the life I want.
Here’s proof. This evening, I went out for a short paddle. It looked like rain was coming, so I didn’t stay out long, but it felt good being on the water, moving my body, finding balance in the waves, and doing what I love.