More Goodbyes

This week I said goodbye to my in-laws.

I met them for lunch. During lunch, we talked about everything but. I cried in the middle of conversation about local government bureaucracy. His aunt held my hand while I cried. When we said goodbye in the parking lot, I told them I had to unfollow them on social media. I told them I knew about X’s new marriage and that I couldn’t bare to see it. I also told them how much I love them and how grateful I am for all the love and support they showed me – us – over the past 13 years.

They told me they understood. They told me they loved me too and that they wanted nothing but happiness for me. They asked me to stay in touch anyway.

I cried the whole drive home and for a long time after.

I don’t think X has any clue about the destruction left in the wake of his selfishness. I don’t think he has any idea of the hurt people feel about his actions. I know he doesn’t care about the pain he has caused me. It isn’t just my husband I lost. It isn’t just the future I had planned. I’ve lost part of my family. And I’m heartbroken over it.