It sounds like a bad self-help memoir. In some ways, it’s probably that bad. But I’m in the process of “finding myself,” whatever that means. I have purchased my canoe (which I still haven’t paddled but I think I actually will tomorrow!). I’m taking an online painting with wool class. I’m reading a book about finding my authentic self that involves cutting pictures out of magazines and filing them into various envelopes – I’m not yet sure why. I’ve discovered DailyOM and am taking TWO hippy dippy classes about shedding layers to unclutter my life and stop emotional eating. And the biggest path of self discovery, I’m taking a writing class.
The writing class is hands down the most excellent thing I’ve done for myself in some time. It’s online, with a well-known YA author. And there are only 3 of us, so we’re really getting great attention. We meet through Zoom once a week for two hours, and then my job is to “write forward” in my manuscript, so I can get a first draft. We’ve had two classes so far and, guess what??
I’m writing! I’m actually writing this book that I’ve had in my head for over ten years! I’ve tried writing it before, but I never got past the second chapter. I’m now on Chapter 10 and I keep moving forward with it! Seriously, I think I might have a manuscript by the time this is done. A really horrible manuscript, mind you, but a draft of a whole, completed book!
This is such a huge accomplishment for me. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but have struggled to actually write with any consistency. And here I am, writing.
So what’s the discovery about myself? It’s that I can actually do this. I can choose to do the hard work of writing. I’ve learned that I enjoy it, and have continued to enjoy it, past chapter 2. I’ve discovered that I’ve got something to say.