This Grief

This grief has been so strange, confusing and complicated. I grieve the loss of my partner of 13 years. I gave so much of myself for him. I loved him and admired him.

I grieve the loss of a marriage I believed in. Even in this rough time, I believed we could work things out.

I grieve over the betrayal. He said there was always something missing. He said he felt this way as we tried to have children, miscarried, and tried again. He left me without ever telling me there was a problem. He left without working on it. He left me and went immediately into the arms of another woman.

I grieve about being replaced so easily and so quickly, like I really didn’t matter to him at all.

I grieve the loss of a future together, the loss of a family together. I grieve the loss of friendship and small moments at each other’s side.

This grief catches up with me, right when I think I’m doing alright.